In a church in
Northern Europe, there is a life-sized figure of Jesus being crucified. Because
of its reputation as a figure that would grant any prayer, people came in
droves to bow to and pray to the figure of Jesus.
Now the doorman
of the church saw that Jesus was besieged by so many requests daily. Not
content just standing idly by, he wished that he could share in Jesus’ suffering,
and he expressed this desire while praying one day. Suddenly, he heard a voice,
saying, “Very well, I will come down and take your place, and you will take
Mine at the cross. However, you must say anything, no matter what you see or
hear.” The doorman thought that this was a simple and reasonable request, and
agreed.
So Jesus came
down from the cross, and the man went up, his arms stretched in the fashion
Jesus’ did when He was crucified. Since the original figure was so life-like,
the people who came to pray were none the wiser. The man kept to his promise
not to say anything, and listened to the prayers of the faithful. Many people came
and went, and they had prayers of all sorts natures, from reasonable to
unreasonable to downright strange. But the man held his tongue and did not say
anything, for he had to keep to his commitment.
One day, a rich
merchant came in to pray. When he finished praying, he forgot to take the money
bag that he had brought into the church. The man on the cross looked on,
longing to call the man back, but he knew he could not. Then three poor, hungry
people came in, praying that Jesus would help them through difficult times. When
they were about to leave, they discovered the merchant’s money bag, opened it,
and found it to be full of money. They were overjoyed, praising Jesus for His
goodness and faithfulness, how He would always provide, and went out with thankful
hearts. “Jesus” looked on from the cross, wanting to shout: “This money is not
yours!” But he knew that he could not do such a thing.
Afterwards, a
seafaring young man came in, and prayed for safety in the journey he was about
to embark on. When he was about to leave, the merchant rushed in, seized the
young man by the collar and demanded his money back. Naturally the young man
had no idea what he was talking about, and an argument ensued. “Jesus” now
could no longer restrain himself and spoke to explain. When “Jesus” had
finished, the merchant went out to look for the three people “He” described,
and the young man rushed out, fearful of missing his ship.
Then Jesus, who
had been posing as the doorman, appeared, pointed at the cross and the impostor, and said: “Come
down! You are no longer worthy of this position.”
The doorman
protested: “But I spoke the truth and acted justly! Is that not right?”
Jesus replied: “What
do you know about this? The merchant did not lack money – he was about to spend
it in a brothel; but the poor people, they could have saved their entire family’s
livelihood with it. But the young man suffered the worst fate at your hands: if
the argument with the merchant ran its course and delayed him, he would have
lived; now the ship he is on is sinking into the depths of the sea.”
The ironic story
has this moral: we usually deem for ourselves what is best, but things don’t go
as we planned or wanted, and we become frustrated or indignant. But we must
believe this: what we have right now, whether good or bad, smooth-sailing or
rough situations, is best for us. If we realize this, we will be able to be
thankful in prosperity and remain joyful in adversity.
That slogan was for anti-war protesters, not for a gang of battle hardened men. Or so I thought.
Now it seems the American military likes it too - and apparently in this case "Don't ask, don't tell" doesn't apply. How typical. Read how the military came out of the closet here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4174519.stm
How very distasteful. Now if I were any of those things, I could just say I fell victim to one of these things. Not that (I think) I'm any of those.
This time of the year again. Calculations are as follows, as of April 8, 2007 02:00 HK Standard Time: 17 years 204 months 6209 days 149016 hours 8940960 minutes 536457600 seconds
Time to spam yearly shout-outs again. Again, messages in random order, and please forgive me if you're left out - don't kill me now, I don't want to die Shakespeare-style:
Mom and Dad: Thank you for putting up with me for 17 years <33.
Veronica: Ha, you're still evil but I love you anyway
James: LOL you should come to NPAC more often =D
AA: You joker - you still owe us the lesson plans from long ago, and the money I lent you last Friday.
Galv: Oh dear, we have too much in common now from the past year. What can I say?
Bobot: It's been good knowing and talking to you for the past year or so. Good luck with everything, I suppose?
Linson: Your ownage with languages (and punnage with puns) countinues
to amaze me, ever since PRD. At least you're in my Econ class now
Oscar: Ha, FOUR birthdays and I'm still taller than you! Oops...sorry, ahem, I mean, I've had so much fun with you for my past four birthdays. Haha.
Hadrian:
Thanks for your constant companionship and BeiMUN madness, not to mention madness in Tsang's (and for a bit, in Marshall's) classes.
Audrey: NYA, I still haven't read 那小子真帥 2 yet XP
Ser: Are you asleep? How about now? You're still the nice person I've known since Yr. 9 :D
Tina: O MY. You are so lively and cheerful all the time. =)
Shinyoung: WHERE ARE MY WATER BOTTLES YOU PROMISED?! And your common law reading still scares me -_-
Steph: I am REALLY embarrassed X_X. Happy birthday to you too! The real SM rocks! :D
Heung: HEEEEE, NPAC/PT/BC/SS + BEIMUN SC pride =D
To my lovely GK friends and LAMEos: all of you have made the past year so fun and exciting - Sam, I know you don't want to be grouped here, but you're a good friend as any other LAME ganger with your periodic visits..."who do you sleep with?" XD - Christina and Marianna, you two are sooo amusing and so creative with your surprises. - Stera, the hyperly, sometimes drunk pastor...what can I say? You've been so much fun - Robin: Hey dude...thanks for letting us crash your place TWICE for birthdays - Leanne: fishbird/skinny skinny stick, you suck too! I found your survey in my UNI COUNSELLING office. Do you still want it? - MoJo: Messrs. Chen and Chen, I salute you for all your witticisms - Lorraine: My partner in crime! Haha. - Jonny, Jonny, Jonny, Jonny, woops, Jonny, woops, Jonny, Jonny, Jonny, Jonny: My cell group leader, you are so animated, you make me high in the process too! - Oliver: head of lame group, praise team leader and GK counselor, you liven up GK and worship practices; so shocked to hear about what happened; stay safe for the rest of the trip. See you in May! - Kendrick: if you are even going to read this, I love your serious manner in approaching everything. Thanks for joining on Friday. Group photo by Veronica!!!!!
Yay, that's it. An unspectacular 17 made spectacular by all of you, these words do no justice in expressing my gratitude. Thanks!
This I found from a very old jokebook. Verbose, but I found it funny in a strange way...
There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with her mother on the edge of a large wood. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house. Not because this was women's work, mind you, but because the deed was generous and helped engender a feeling of community. Furthermore, her grandmother was not sick, but rather was in full physical and mental health and was fully capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult. So, Red Riding Hood set off with her basket through the woods. Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place and never set foot in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident enough in her own budding sexuality that such obviously Freudian imagery did not intimidate her. On the way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf who asked her what was in her basket. She replied, "Some healthful snakcs for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult." The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme", said Red Riding Hood, "but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, world view. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way." Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path. But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the wolf knew a quicker route to Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, tradtionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on Grandma's night-clothes and crawled into bed. Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role as a wise and nuturing matriarch." From the bed, the wolr said softly, "Come closer, child, so that I might see you." "Oh," said Red Riding Hood, "I forgot you are so opitically challenged. Grandma, what big eyes you have!" "They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear," said the wolf. "Grandma," said Red Riding Hood, "what a big nose you have, only relatively, of course, and certainly attractive in its own way." "It has smelled much, and forgiven much, my dear," said the wolf. "Grandma, what big teeth you have!" said Red Riding Hood. "I am happy with who I am and what I am," said the wolf and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her. Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency towards cross-dressing, but because of his wilful invasion of her personal space. Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopperperson (or solid-fuel technician, as he liked to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his axe, Red Riding Hood and the wolf both stopped. "And just what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood. The woodchopperperson blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him. "Bursting in here like a Neanderthal," continued Red Riding Hood, "trusting your weapon do do your thinking for you! Sexist! Specieist! How dare you assume that women and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!" When she heard Red Riding Hood's impassioned speech, Grandma jumped out of the wolf's mouth, seized the woodchopperperson's axe, and cut his head off. After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma and the wolf felt a certain commality of purpose. They decided to set up an alternative, anarcho-syndicalist household based on mutual respect and co-operation, and they lived together in the woods happily ever after.
An interesting article Lorraine gave to me in GK (thanks Lorraine! ^^) about the 12 days of Christmas. For those who don't know, the twelve days of Christmas goes as such:
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Etc. Etc. (repeat gifts of previous days every day to the 12th day of Christmas) and the gifts go on as such until the recipient is flooded with: a partridge in a pear tree (one true God revealed in the person of Jesus Christ) 2 turtledoves (Old and New Testaments) 3 French hens (faith, hope, charity) 4 calling birds (four Gospels) 5 golden rings (first five books of the Old Testament) 6 geese a-laying (six days of creation) 7 Swans a-swimming (seven gifts of Holy Spirit; sacrements of Catholic faith) 8 Maids a-milking (eight beatitudes) 9 Ladies Dancing (nine fruits of Holy Spirit) 10 Lords a-leaping (ten commandments) 11 Pipers piping (eleven faithful apostles) 12 Drummers drumming (twelve points of doctrine in Apostle's Creed)
However, there is another account of the 12 days of Christmas between the true love and the recipient:
A partridge in a pear tree On the first day after Christmas, my true love and I did fight And so I chopped the pear tree down and burnt it, just for spite I couldn't stand that damn bird's cries so I took a single cartridge I accidentally shot his foot while aiming at the partridge.
2 turtledoves The second day after Christmas I pulled on rubber gloves and very gently wrung the necks of both the turtledoves.
3 French hens On the third day after Christmas my mother caught the croup and so I used the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
4 calling birds The four calling birds were a big mistake their language was obscene
5 golden rings The five golden rings were completely fake and turned my fingers green.
6 geese The sixth day after Christmas the six laying geese wouldn't lay So I sent the whole darn giggle to the ASPCA
7 swans On the seventh day thereafter, what a mess I found Those seven swans a-swimming all had nearly drowned due to pollution in the pond.
8 maidens On the eight day the milking maidens went on strike for they had not bee paid.
9 ladies dancing On the ninth day after Christmas, those dames looked so tarty, nothing like the cabaret. 10 lords On the tenth day came the lords They look so creepy like leaping out of the cabinet.
11 pipers Those so-called ladies, lords and pipers gorged on cheese and porgy. My house smells like a brothel and the cops broke up the orgy.
12 drummers Those drummers did nothing but kept me up all night giving me a hangover.
the aftermath My nerves were surely frayed. So, I couldn't wait until the end of the twelfth day after Christmas end before they could suspect. I bundled up the Eight maids a-milking Nine ladies dancing Ten lords a-leaping Eleven pipers piping Twelve drummers drumming (well, actually I kept one of the cute drummers) ...and sent them back collect. till this day I ask: why did my ex-true love send those stupid gifts to me anyway?
